Vulnerability Calls: Challenging the Lies, Championing the Truth

» Posted by on May 29, 2014 in Blog | Comments Off on Vulnerability Calls: Challenging the Lies, Championing the Truth


photo (117)Vulnerability Calls

The Lie: We’ve been taught to put on a mask, put on the pretty, reply with “I’m great! How are you?!”

The Truth: Sometimes we’re hurting, we’re sad, we’re mad….we’re feeling something different…and it’s okay to be real and vulnerable.

….This pic was at the end of a day that started w/a good solid cry Wed morning. If I could  I would have stayed in bed. But I was to lead a meeting and so “responsibility” trumped “sad”.

I share this for a few reasons that come to mind:

1. When I arrived and was asked, “How are you?!!!” It would have been so easy to say, “Great!” After all, my eyes weren’t puffy, I threw together a cheery outfit, emotion had settled, and I’d found my smile on the way in. No one would have known -and like gals do we would have bantered about shoes, accessories, or blah, blah, blah. I would have bought into the lie that I needed to put on a front & wear a mask, and everything would be just fine…..Except it was a lie.   They asked and I told them, “I’m better now, but just had a good cry.  Don’t need to talk about it.  Just wanted to be *honest*”.  We immediate went on with a successful meeting and accomplished much….

2. Would you believe it? Many times I hear of the perception that I must have it all together because I smile, present myself well (for the most part ), have a successful career, married my college sweet heart. …..I’ve been told at times over the years that I don’t show people me, they only see “this”. I’ll let you figure out the “this” – though I feel I’m an open book online, on stage, in person…… Truth is, if one asked about my passions or my struggles one might wish they hadn’t, because I believe in leading with authenticity and discerning vulnerability and there’s a lot of passion, there was a lot of adversity, and a whole lot of messy.  …..I love deep divers who are willing to walk alongside me for a current struggle or bump in the road, yet I find that staying on the surface is much easier for most.

3. Truth is…I believe that being authentic and vulnerable (in the right scenario) leads to truth, healing and a sense of liberation. Truth is…I resent (gulp) hearing those type of comments about me because I’m reminded that people have created a “story” about me, yet they haven’t taken time to know me personally…or perhaps even read my transparent posts, blogs or videos.

4. I’m ready to invite others to *challenge the lie of the story* they might have created about me – and others…perhaps even themselves. In that I believe more truth and healing can be found.

5. Just because one is sad for a moment in time doesn’t mean they have to carry that for hours or a full day. And just because another doesn’t “see “ that emotion due to proximity or circumstance, doesn’t mean that person doesn’t let others see vulnerability.  ….It might mean for the moment it’s been handled and it’s time to move on to other obligations.  It may also mean the time or venue  is inappropriate …..A benefit of being present with one’s emotion is the ability to feel, work through, and move onto productivity or at least “What’s next?” One might revisit that emotion or situation, but it doesn’t need to sabotage and take over for the day, week or month, etc.  We “get to” do our work around it…..Perhaps True Life Coaching Shandel Slaten might be able connect this back to “Emotional Intelligence”?

6.  Clothing and appearance aren’t the end all be all, but they can be used to elevate your mood so you can get on with….it!

TIP:  When you’re feelin’ blue, anxious, sick….or whatever, this is absolutely the time to choose to dress well.  You know the saying, when you look good, you feel great……Well, I didn’t feel great, but by mid day I was almost fully back on track with blessings still to come from an evening event!
My tears? Nothing earth shattering…I’m simply being present as I go through growing pains as I will always do as a “life learner” (thx Jeanette!). Courage is calling, truth is calling, vulnerability is calling…….I’ve been resisting a bit and it’s becoming more difficult so I’m feeling the pain.

Anyhoo, there seems to always be a story or anecdote in each day…….This was one I was (finally) ready to share, can you relate?!

Have an amazing Thursday, XO